OK! I Take it back!!!

I have a fear thats causing me great distress right now. I know... ironic after I just made a post about over coming fear. Here's the thing... there are GREAT..... BIG......Spiders!!!! Making residency on my deck! The only thing that scares me more than heights, suffocating and small places, is SPIDERS!!!! It was only a few nights ago that I was talking to a good friend of mine about spiders and their significance, however, I DO NOT WANT THEM ON MY DECK!!!! I spend a lot of time out there drinking coffee and thinking. With the weather turning warmer, I enjoy sitting out there with my dinner or a glass of wine in the evening when my nights off permit. I dont want to share my space with spiders!!

(Anyone want to volunteer to come help me with this one? LOL )

Domesticated Goddess

Yes, I am a highly domesticated creature. I love cooking, cleaning and folding laundry (although, I can openly admit I draw the line at ironing. I avoid it at all costs! LOL). I love the home arts. I make soap from scratch, I love to garden, although I have only been able to try container gardening so far, and I want to learn to quilt. I love the feeling of clean bedding and the smell of freshly scrubbed floors. It’s therapeutic to clean and clear my space. It allows my mind to focus on more creative and pleasant things. This is just part of who I am.

I recently read a book that tells women NOT to do these things. That we must show our equality to the male species and that doing these things gives the impression that we are boring creatures and gives us a homely vibe. I don’t agree. I don’t do these things for any man, I never have. I do these things for my own sense of well being. There is no shame in a clean kept home that makes friends and families feel welcome. I am not homely, and the last I checked, I was not boring. I do not find myself hovering for hours over Martha Stewart magazines and I have no intentions of doing anything that is uncomfortable or unnatural for me just to impress anyone else. I have no need to impress anyone but myself. Take me for what I am or leave me the hell alone. Now THAT’S the difference between being homely and being a Goddess!

I think too much emphasis is placed on what we should or shouldn’t do instead of nurturing the person that we ARE. Too many people are trying to be someone they are not to gain the affections or attentions of someone else. No wonder so many people feel lost and confused with out a strong sense of self. Every magazine seems to have some article on who they are supposed to be or how they are supposed to act, instead of focusing on loving them selves for who they already are. Why can’t we just have a sense of self love and appreciate our own inner beauty. We are each unique in our life experiences and perceptions. We all have our own life experiences; we should embrace them and realize how far we have come in our own personal lives. How boring would it be if everyone reading these articles adapted the suggestions and tried to emulate the author’s perceptions of how we should behave? I would rather stand for something I believe in than to bend my will to what someone else thinks is a better standard of living. I find most of these articles shallow and offensive. I am more than skin deep, and I hope it shows!

Fear

What is fear holding you back from? Fear may slow me down, but it will never stop me. That doesn’t mean I am scheduling a trip for bungee jumping! The opportunity (for me) has to out weigh the fear itself. To tie a bungee cord to my body and jump off a perfectly stable platform into thin air just to say I did it, does not hold enough of a benefit to me for me to face that fear. I was thinking about all the times in my life that I have felt and over come fear. Some times I have had to consciously face that fear, other times, I have had no choice in the matter. Either way, I have found the greatest opportunities and blessings have come from those moments when I have over came fear. It has led to me being confident and comfortable in my own skin and with who I am. I am a strong, independent woman, and I believe I can do anything I put my mind to. I have determination and backbone! (Backed with brains and beauty of course! LOL)

To live your life in fear, is not to live at all. Sometimes we have to challenge the unknown to find out the opportunity and the potential. Life is an amazing experience with all its ups and downs. We won’t ever realize the beauty of the valley if we are too afraid to hike to the peak. Don’t let fear stop you from living the life you were given or to seize the opportunities that await you.

Spring

I love the first signs of spring when the earth begins to awaken from the deep slumber of winter. When the sun peaks out from grey skies and shines its light on the rebirth of the trees and flowers that have been barren and dormant. As my life is also in a rebirth, it’s refreshing to take a moment to look at the beauty that surrounds me with the soft pink flowers on the trees, the green buds opening and the petals that are pushing through the soft earth. I love to wake up to the sun shining through the windows, to feel the warm air on my cheeks, to hear the birds coming out and singing a cheery little song. The animals are busy with nesting and babies and the frogs are happy (albeit, loud!) critters!

For me the change in seasons is somewhat akin to the starting of a new year. It’s a time to look both past and future and resolve where it is I want to be. It’s a time of reflection, dreams, and hopes. Like the new growth, the possibilities are endless and up to me. Like the new flowers growing, small and beautiful, but very strong. Like them, you have to push through the obstacles to realize your full potential and beauty. Breaking through the earth gives the flowers a better chance at withstanding the elements and challenges the earth will bring, such as strong winds and heavy rains.

You have choices. You can spend your life looking at things from under that layer of dirt, never seeing the sun, the beauty that surrounds you or your own inner beauty, or you can grow, brave the weather and let your soul bloom into the person you were destined to become.

"In every winter's heart there is a quivering spring and behind the veil of each night there is a smiling dawn." Kahil Gibran

Definition of a Rut

I just heard a saying that is definately food for thought.

"If you do what you've always done, you will get where you've always gone."

How often do we get stuck in a rut with our own thoughts and actions, and then complain about the results?

What kind of friend are you?

Through a series of events, I have been thinking about friendships a lot. What kind of friend I am to others, and also what kind of friends do I wish to surround myself with. I was thinking about friends I have had both past and present to see if there was a "type" of friend that I continually allowed into my circle. I believe all people are brought into our lives for a reason. Some people are in your life for their benefit only, some of them are brought into your life to help you with specific life lessons, and others are life long TRUE friends. I believe friends should enhance your life, not control your life or bring you down. I believe friends should above all be trustworthy. Trust is a complicated, fragile thing. Trust has to be earned, is easily broken and hard to regain. Are you the type of friend that others can count on and trust? Do you have your friend’s best interest in mind, or do you have your own gain as your goal? I think friends should be gentle, but honest if the situation requires it. I think friends should listen with out judgment. I think if your going to share your deepest most intimate thoughts and feelings with a friend, they should be worthy of such a privilege. I have had a wide variety of friends through out my life. I have been friends with the "needy", who tend to need constant reassurance. These friends only think about themselves and are a lot of work and are never long term. They deplete those around them of their precious energy and compassion. I have been friends with the "doormat", who tend to just adopt and agree with what ever the person they are with believes and desires. Not having their own thoughts and opinions, they tend to not be able to contribute much to the friendship, even though they also tend to believe they do everything because they are a good friend. This friend also tends to be short term, as eventually, most people get bored and would rather be around people who have their own personality to contribute to the friendship. I have been friends with the "controller", who tend to think their way is the only way. They often mean well, but have little to no acceptance of others thoughts, opinions, feelings and ideas. They often are over bearing with their efforts to help and offended when a person stands their ground and makes choices that are right for them, rather than taking the well meaning advice that the controller "offers". I believe we all have all of these friendship traits within us and at times and with circumstances, we all show these traits to some degree. I wish to surround myself with positive, strong people who know themselves well and who are both willing to contribute to the friendship as well as accept mine. I have had my share of temporary friends. They were not necessarily bad people or even bad friends, but lacked the traits required to maintain a friendship long term. I have both good and bad memories of such friends. Some I miss others I do not. I am a loyal, trustworthy, compassionate friend. I am the friend you can confide in. I am the friend you can depend on. I will always be honest with you. I have my own thoughts, opinions and ideas and I am not afraid to express when I do not agree with yours. However, I do this without judgment. I think our unique differences are what make friends and life interesting. I wish to have a well rounded group of friends with their own unique personalities that enhance and enrich my life through their own personalities and perceptions. I also hope to be that kind of friend to others in return.

Reboot and Restore....starting over.

Reboot and Restore. These are things we are more than familiar with when it comes to our computers, but what about our lives? Right now, I want to reboot and restore. I want to shut down, start up, and start over from a restore point of right now. I want to let the past go, take what I know and make a future. I want my future to be pleasant and full of peace and contentment. I know day to day stress is a given and just a part of life. With out those challenges and resistances that create stress, we would be unable to recognize or appreciate the gifts, positives and the good in life. I believe that we need those negatives to learn, grow and see life for the beautiful gift it is. However, when your in the thick of “learning”, sometimes its hard to see the sun through the clouds.